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Permanent||Amnesia
There's this girl who's sixteen years young as of February 10th and a sophomore in high school as of 2010. She's quiet until you get to know her, then she 'won't shut up' as some people say. Her emotions get the best of her. She doesn't know what's up or what's down but she's just running through life trying not to look backwards. "Keep your head held up high," they used to always say. But not too high or you won't realize your shoelace is untied. With a cute sense of humor and random personality you will hear her making random noises in the hallway with her friends. Any insults bounce right back, she won't care what you think unless you are close to her. This teenage girl’s life isn't all around boys, boys, and boys. She has no interest in trying to get a relationship but if one came along we’ll see what happens. She has quite a large procrastination problem and she tends to hold her feelings in until they burst at the worst moment possible. With as many friends as she needs, a great family, and a heart of a performer; she will try to get through life, one day at a time.

Personal Goals for February
[x] Go to school everyday for a week.
[ ] Go to school everyday for 2 weeks.
[ ] Be on time for a week to school.
[ ] Go to bed before 12AM for a week.

People don't keep journals for them- selves; they keep them for other people. Like a secret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know.
                                              -Chuck Klosterman


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Original: 4/22/2010 4:14 PM
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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Disney

 I'm not editing this. I just need to vent. Okay so I have always dreamed of being a performer. and last year and this year I was supposed to be in the performing troupe at my dance school but it was crazy expensive so I didn't. They went to Disney World to perform this week and I would have been with them.. Looking at all of their pictures I started to cry. And then I felt that I would never want to do that. There were pictures of two of my friends on the fake American Idol stage singing in front of 1,000 people. I always thought I would love to do that but seeing that picture made me cry because I feel like I don't want to anymore. Now I don't know what to do because I was planning on joining that troupe next year.. I'm thinking that maybe it is just being so far away from home.. (Disney) But I am also thinking that is not. It feels like I am letting go of my dreams and this makes me so upset. But I can't help that I am loosing interest. It just feels like I shouldn't be.. I truly cant tell anymore what my real feelings are. I have not really gotten the chance to perform in front of 1000s of people alone. I have in groups but not alone. I want to be able to sing in front of all of those people by my self. The problem is that I have not been given the chance to do it so I don't know if it is what I want to pursue in life! Everything is just so complicated. I just don't want to let go of my dream of being a performer. But it seems like my mind is. I'm not forgetting about it by force because I "don't think I would succeed" or whatever. It is just going. And I don't want it to leave me <\3
 Posted 4/22/2010 4:14 PM - 36 Views