| | I'm not editing this. I just need to vent. Okay so I have always dreamed of being a performer. and last year and this year I was supposed to be in the performing troupe at my dance school but it was crazy expensive so I didn't. They went to Disney World to perform this week and I would have been with them.. Looking at all of their pictures I started to cry. And then I felt that I would never want to do that. There were pictures of two of my friends on the fake American Idol stage singing in front of 1,000 people. I always thought I would love to do that but seeing that picture made me cry because I feel like I don't want to anymore. Now I don't know what to do because I was planning on joining that troupe next year.. I'm thinking that maybe it is just being so far away from home.. (Disney) But I am also thinking that is not. It feels like I am letting go of my dreams and this makes me so upset. But I can't help that I am loosing interest. It just feels like I shouldn't be.. I truly cant tell anymore what my real feelings are. I have not really gotten the chance to perform in front of 1000s of people alone. I have in groups but not alone. I want to be able to sing in front of all of those people by my self. The problem is that I have not been given the chance to do it so I don't know if it is what I want to pursue in life! Everything is just so complicated. I just don't want to let go of my dream of being a performer. But it seems like my mind is. I'm not forgetting about it by force because I "don't think I would succeed" or whatever. It is just going. And I don't want it to leave me <\3 |
| | Posted 4/22/2010 4:14 PM - 36 Views
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